You might be a Mountain Climber if...
1. You own a $75 dress suit and a $1000 Gore-Tex suit.
2. You have ever frozen your lips to an ice screw while blowing an ice plug at your partner.
3. You have ever used an ice axe to chop weeds in the garden.
4. You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.
5. You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.
6. You've ever fallen so far that you've run out of adrenaline before you ran out of rope.
7. You say "Namaste" instead of "Hello."
8. You like the smell of burning yak dung.
9. What you call cold is not on the thermometer scale.
10. When you hear the words "nose," "captain," or "aid," your hands start hurting and swelling.
11. You arrive at a climbing gym with stoppers and cams still in your bag.
12. You hear the name "Hillary" and think about Everest instead of the Secretary of State.
13. And finally, you understood all the previous lines. If you laughed at any of these lame lines, then you should definitely get back to work.
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2 comments:
That is pretty darn funny! Whenever I tell my wife something she wants to buy is too expensive she reminds me of how much I spent for my Gore Tex jacket.
14. You're a couch-potato transplant from another state, call yourself the "Colorado Mountaineer", and "bag 14ers" with all the other tourist posers, and have no idea what you're doing, but you write a lot about it as if you do!
15. You tell the entire internet-accessing population where you went, how you got there, and how you did it! After all, your knowledge came from Google searches, and theirs probably did, too! Climbing mountains is no fun without public validation!
Now, really: You scare me. I fear for your safety.
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